


I Don’t Know What To Do (About This Dream And You)

by opalescent_cheetah



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race (US) RPF
Genre: Baseball, F/F, Fluff, Light Angst, Magic, Mutual Pining, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Songfic, Updates Daily, crystal plays baseball, nicky is a mythological being, there are birds involved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:20:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28192338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/opalescent_cheetah/pseuds/opalescent_cheetah
Summary: Baseball players and mythical beings are a potent combination. After Crystal catches her eye on the baseball field, Nicky makes a decision that turns her entire world upside down. Meanwhile, Crystal is caught in a mysterious dreamscape, chasing a creature with eyes like liquid gold.Inspired by these songs: “She’s So High” - Tal Bachman; “Digital Love” - Daft Punk; “Baby” - Francesca Blanchard
Relationships: Nicky Doll/Crystal Methyd
Comments: 18
Kudos: 24





	1. Nicky

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cobblestaubrey](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cobblestaubrey/gifts).



> Here is my songfic exchange story, for the lovely @cobblestaubrey ! I’d like to say thank you to @a-tresia for hosting the exchange, and to cobblestaubrey for choosing such wonderful songs! I had a great time planning and writing this, and I hope you'll enjoy it too <3
> 
> Updates daily (and this time, I'll stick to my schedule!)

Nicky does not like baseball.

Even in the shade of the bleachers, the air is stifling, thick with the midsummer heat. She feels like she’s already been sitting here for a lifetime and a half, and the game hasn’t even started yet.

She’s only here because she’s a good friend - or, at the very least, she tries to be. It’s tempting to just up and leave, but she knows she’d hurt Jackie (worse, she’d hurt Jan, who has an unreasonable amount of pride when it comes to baseball). 

Jackie, who is sitting beside her, seems to sense her discomfort and lightly pats her knee. 

“I’m sure it won’t be much longer,” she says reassuringly. “Thanks for coming along, by the way. I know baseball’s not really your thing, so… I appreciate it. And so does Jan.”

“You’d better,” Nicky says wryly, but she smiles despite herself.

Soon enough, the speakers crackle to life, and Nicky sees Jackie lean forward ever so slightly, her eyes sparkling as she looks for Jan. Her adoration for her girlfriend is so sweet it’s almost sickening, but Nicky would be lying if she said she isn’t just a little bit endeared. 

Jackie whoops with excitement and Nicky finally returns her focus to the field. There’s Jan, her ponytail swinging behind her, and--

_Holy fuck._

_Who’s that?_

Nicky may not like baseball, but she loves cute girls, and the girl behind Jan might just be one of the prettiest human beings Nicky has ever laid eyes upon. Her baseball cap is nestled in buoyant curls, her smile so bright Nicky feels like she might well be looking into the sun. She walks with a spring in her step, so full of energy she could even rival Jan. 

Nicky has never seen someone more captivating.

The game becomes infinitely more interesting now that she’s seen the players. Nicky tries to watch Jan as much as she can - she’s the reason Nicky’s here in the first place, after all - but her gaze keeps drifting to the player with the radiant smile and gorgeous tan skin. Some wretched part of her starts asking Jackie about the game, and before she knows it, she’s whooping and hollering along with the rest of the crowd.

“I didn’t think you’d be so into it,” Jackie comments between innings. “I’ll be honest, I’m impressed.”

“Yeah, I guess it’s slightly more interesting than it looks,” Nicky replies nonchalantly. 

“Ah, yes.” Jackie quirks a knowing eyebrow. _“Slightly.”_

“Shut up, you,” Nicky laughs, elbowing her. She returns her attention to the game - Jan is batting now, and her curly-haired teammate is on second base, her body tensed, ready to sprint at a moment’s notice. 

_CRACK!_

The bat makes contact with the ball, and the players fly into action. The fielders close in on the ball, throwing it to each other with a practiced dexterity; meanwhile, Jan’s teammate has rounded third base and is running full-tilt towards home. Nicky watches with bated breath as she gets closer and closer, until she’s only a few strides away, but the fielders are still passing the ball and _she’s not going to make it in time--_

She lunges forward, throwing herself at the base, and sprawls into the dirt a mere second before the ball lands in the catcher’s mitt. 

“SAFE!” the referee shouts, and the crowd erupts into cheers. Nicky is prepared to scream so loud her throat goes hoarse, but she falters - there’s something wrong. The girl is wincing as she stands, one arm held close to her chest and the other wrapping itself around her ribcage. Another member of her team rushes to her side and helps her into the dugout. 

“Is she okay?” Nicky asks Jackie, hoping she won’t notice the worry permeating her voice. 

Jackie bites her lip. “I hope so. That was a great slide into home, though.” 

“Yeah.”

They watch quietly as the girl is given an ice pack, which she seems to mull over for a moment before applying it to her wrist. Her teammate takes a seat beside her, grinning widely as she speaks to her, and soon enough, the injured girl is smiling again too. 

She remains in the dugout for the rest of the game. Nicky tries not to stare at her by keeping her eyes on Jan who, like the rest of her team, seems to be brimming with energy despite the oppressive heat. Perhaps they’re more determined to win on behalf of their injured teammate. 

Nicky finally lets her gaze return to the curly-haired girl when Jan dashes into home and immediately leaps into the dugout to give her a hug. The girl winces at first, but her sunny smile returns a moment later as she and Jan rejoice over something. Nicky can’t help but wonder what they’re saying to each other. 

After the game, Jackie and Nicky wait outside the locker rooms for Jan. They don’t have to wait long until she emerges - with her captivating teammate beside her.

She’s even more beautiful up close.

Now, Nicky can count the freckles on her nose and see every glimmer of light in her earthen eyes. Nicky’s breath catches in her throat, and she forces herself not to stare.

“I’m going to give Crystal a ride home, if that’s okay,” Jan says. 

_Crystal._

It’s a beautiful name - and it’s fitting, for someone who seems to radiate light like Crystal does. Nicky nods, a little too quickly.

She falls into step beside Crystal as they walk to Jan’s car, and when Jackie takes shotgun, Nicky and Crystal pile into the back together. 

“You doing alright?” Nicky asks, as casually as she can.

“Oh, me?” Crystal says, and _wow,_ Nicky thinks, _her voice is weirdly alluring too._ She laughs nervously, glancing down at her bandaged arm. “Yeah, I’m good, I just sprained my wrist. And probably bruised a couple ribs. But I guess you saw how that slide ended up, huh.” 

“Hey, it was really good!” Jan interrupts to reassure her. “Honestly, it was epic. You made it with a second to spare.”

Crystal grins. “I know, right? I didn’t think I’d get there in time. It just sucks that I can’t play next week.”

“Yeah.” Jan grimaces. “We’ll work around it, though. Oh my god, do you remember that time Jaida had to go back to Milwaukee?”

“That game was a disaster!”

Nicky leans back in her seat, content to just listen as Jan and Crystal discuss games past. Crystal is as lively and exciting to sit next to as she was to watch on the field, and Nicky fights the urge to watch her lips move as she speaks. Instead, she focuses on the blurring treeline, pretending not to notice the strange bubbling feeling in her chest. 

As they pull up to Crystal’s house and Crystal bids them farewell, Nicky feels the first threads of a plan formulating in her mind.

She’ll be back tonight.


	2. Crystal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crystal is visited by a mystical bird person in the middle of the night. Nobody believes her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, we get into the magical side of things...

The air is heavy, dark, pressing on Crystal’s bruised ribs like a weighted blanket. She draws another laboured breath, trying to ignore the pain searing through her chest. Her wrist is no better; it wouldn’t stop throbbing for the better part of the afternoon, and even now, it aches dully, constantly reminding her of its presence.

The pain isn’t the worst thing, though. It hurts more to know that she won’t be able to play for a week, maybe two. Today, she’d only had to spend two innings in the dugout, but she still felt useless, doing nothing but pressing ice to her wrist and her ribs.

She stiffens when her open window creaks. In this oppressive silence, every sound is deafening, and Crystal doesn’t miss the rustling noise of movement. It’s more than the whistling breeze through the curtains. Something - or someone - is outside. 

_It’s probably just some funky night creature having a good time,_ she tries to assure herself, but is immediately proven wrong when a dark figure creeps in through the window.

_What the fuck._

Crystal is too terrified to scream. Instead, her mind runs in chaotic circles as the figure straightens. They are clearly humanoid, with slender legs and fair hair, shining silver in the watery half-light. Crystal can barely see more than the edges of moonlight on their gentle jawline, but it’s enough. Whoever this is, they _shouldn’t be here._

How did they get in, anyways? She’s on the second floor, and they couldn’t possibly have climbed up here so silently that Crystal only noticed them when they were sneaking into the window.

The figure takes a step closer, moving one arm into the moonlight, and it’s only then that Crystal notices the feathers. 

_Wings._

They aren’t human. 

Maybe they’re a sleep paralysis demon, Crystal thinks. Maybe that’s why she hasn’t screamed yet. 

She lies, frozen but for the constant throbbing of her injuries, as the figure steps closer to her bed, moving with all the elegant grace of a goddess. Their feathers, silvery-white in the moonlight, billow around them like a cape. When they finally turn their gaze towards Crystal, her breath catches in her throat. 

They have the most beautiful eyes she’s ever seen: a luminescent gold, inhumanly bright, brilliant in the hazy dark of the room. The figure blinks, and Crystal swears she sees them smile. 

_You’re too pretty to be a demon,_ she thinks. The stray thought catches her off-guard, and she averts her eyes again. 

A rustling of feathers reclaims her attention almost immediately. The figure has raised a wing, and a moment later, Crystal feels the brush of feathers along her wrist and chest. In an instant, all her pain vanishes, and the creature briefly seems to tremble. 

Crystal wants to speak, wants to call out, _wait, what did you do to me?_ but the figure has already turned away. They hesitate at the window, casting one last look over their shoulder before they disappear into the night. 

~

Crystal flexes her fingers, swivelling the bat around in her hands. Her wrist moves painlessly; if anything, it’s stronger than it was before she injured it.

“I’m telling you, it was like magic,” she says, propping the bat back up against the wall. “I was just in my room, and--”

“And some crazy bird person crawled in through the window, touched you, and took away all your pain. We know,” Jaida interrupts dryly, cocking a brow in clear disbelief. 

“But that - that’s really what happened, I swear!” 

Jaida purses her lips but doesn’t comment further.

“Seriously!” Crystal insists, knowing full well that she probably sounds like she’s lost her mind. It’s too late now, though - and besides, how else is she supposed to explain her fully-healed injuries? “I _know_ I saw them. They came up right by my bedside, and they had these piercing golden eyes, like… like, I don’t know, the sun or something, they were so bright. And - and they had wings instead of arms, with all these feathers, and--” 

“Look,” Jan says gently, “what matters is that you’re able to play today. I’m just glad to see you better.”

Crystal sighs, defeated. 

“Yeah. Me too.” She flexes her hand again before brushing her fingers along her ribcage. She remembers how it felt, waking up the next morning feeling not just better, but completely new. Nothing short of a miracle could have made that happen.

She’s oddly unfocused during the game, missing an easy catch and fumbling with the ball. Her mind is elsewhere, the darkness behind her eyelids filled only with luminescent golden eyes. She’s forced to confront it when Jaida glances over at her from the pitching mound, a quizzical yet concerned look on her face. 

“You good, Crys?”

“I’m fine, I’m fine, I--” Crystal falters. “God, I’m sorry, I really suck today, don’t I?” It’s not a question, but she phrases it like one anyway, hoping for a little bit of reassurance. 

But this is Jaida, and while she is a lot of things - a talented sportswoman, a bit of a goofball and a great friend - she isn’t one to sugarcoat a bad situation. 

“Child, you know I love you, but I think you need a break,” she says simply. “You still thinking about your bird person?”

Crystal frowns, sure that Jaida is going to tease her, but she nods anyways. 

“Thought so,” Jaida says, offering her a sympathetic smile. “I still can’t say I believe you, but you’ll have to tell me more about them later, alright? We’ll figure it out. We’ve got to get you back on your game, after all.” She speaks with a cool, collected air about her, but Crystal can sense the genuine care beneath her words. “Batter’s up now. You’ve got this. See if you can take a break after this inning, alright?”

“Will do. Thanks,” Crystal murmurs gratefully.

Jaida simply nods, returning her attention to the game. Crystal adjusts her baseball mitt.

~

She doesn’t get a chance to discuss the winged person with Jaida, because shortly after they return to the locker room, Jan drags two people in. Crystal recognises Jackie, Jan’s girlfriend, who is loved by the entire team for her unwavering support, but the girl standing next to her is unfamiliar. It takes Crystal a moment to realise that she was the other person in the car when Jan drove her home last week, but this time, she notices something new.

The girl has the most beautiful eyes she’s ever seen.

They shine a luminescent gold, just like the eyes of the creature that took Crystal’s pain away. 

She doesn’t give herself time to hesitate before she marches over to the girl, who is standing idly by while Jan talks to Jackie. The girl is tall and lean, with a beautifully sculpted face and chin-length, pale blonde hair. She’s gorgeous, yet imposing, and Crystal regrets not talking to her more last week.

In fact, she doesn’t even know the girl’s name. She can’t help but be washed with guilt when she realises that the girl had had to quietly sit by as Crystal and Jan rambled about baseball, but she swallows her guilt as quickly as it came. Now is the time to make amends. 

“Hey! I’m sorry, I don’t think I properly introduced myself last time we met,” Crystal says, masking her awkwardness with her characteristic enthusiasm. “I’m Crystal.”

“Pleased to formally meet you. I’m Nicky,” the girl says, smirking ever so slightly, and the French lilt to her words nearly makes Crystal swoon. “How’s that wrist of yours going? I was surprised to see you play today.” 

“Oh, well, about that…” Crystal falters. “Painkillers work wonders, I must say.” 

Nicky laughs. “I’m sure they do.”

“So…” Crystal mumbles, not quite sure what to say now. “You come here often?”

“You mean to watch baseball?”

“Yeah. Are you a big fan?” Crystal puffs out her chest with pride. “If you are, well, I can’t say I blame you. Me and the girls, we’re all pretty great.”

Nicky grins, clearly amused, and Crystal decides then and there that she’d like to make this girl smile as much as possible. 

“To be perfectly honest, I’ve only watched two games,” Nicky admits. “But yes, I’d say I’m a fan. You’re fun to watch.” 

“Ah, good. I do love putting on a show.” Crystal mock-bows, tipping her baseball cap at Nicky. “Now, I’d love to keep chatting, but I’ve got to get changed, so…” she fishes her phone out of her bag. “Might I request your number, m’lady?” 

Nicky snorts, shaking her head slightly as she takes the phone. 

“You sure are something,” she says, so quietly that Crystal probably wouldn’t have heard if she hadn’t been listening. She adds herself to Crystal’s contacts - with a cute bird emoji next to her name, Crystal notices - and hands back her phone. 

“Thanks!” Crystal says, grinning, as a little shiver of delight runs up her spine.


	3. Nicky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicky meets Crystal first in her dreamscape, and then at a cozy cafe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time to board the angst train! I'm sorry in advance lol.

Her dreamscape is quiet, disturbed only by the rustling of leaves in the gentle summer breeze. She reclines in the branches of her favourite tree, letting the cool air wash over her feathers.

This is her nightly retreat; it may merely be in her subconscious, but it’s the only time she is free to be her true self. In fact, she has no choice but to remain in her real form when she’s here, after an entire day of maintaining her human disguise.

Nicky is the present-day incarnation of the mythical caladrius. Centuries ago, when societies still had faith in magic and fable, her ancestors existed as small white birds with the power to detect and heal sickness. The caladrius - and countless other mythical beings - have since evolved to better suit human society, as people’s faith in magic and its power dwindled, and the creatures that were once so useful became redundant. 

Now, these creatures maintain two forms: a human disguise, and their true form, which, over centuries, became more and more human. 

Nicky raises a wing, watching her feathers shiver in the breeze. Sometimes she wonders what it would be like to simply be a bird: small and so common, yet still ethereally beautiful. Instead, all she has from her mythical ancestors are their wings, their sunflower eyes, and their powers.

A sudden movement catches her eye. There’s someone nearby, stumbling about beneath her tree.

Stiffening, Nicky realises who it is.

_Crystal._

_Shit._

How could she forget? Her healing powers came with one complication: the fact that she and whoever she healed would be psychically connected. Nicky mentally kicks herself for omitting such a minor yet crucial detail. After all, she’s lost friends over this, when they realised what a monster she truly was. _And isn’t that the reason why you vowed never to heal another person again?_

_Typical. Of course you’d get so enamoured with a cute girl that you’d forget your lifelong promise to yourself._

She moves to scramble further up the tree, deeper into the leaves, trying not to think about the people who became nothing more than a memory, faces lost into the forests of her dreamscape.

“Hello?” Crystal’s voice rings like bells.

Nicky inwardly curses herself.

“Hello, is someone there?”

_No. Nobody is here. Leave._

Her silent command proves fruitless as Crystal steps closer to the tree, peering up into the branches. Nicky curls into herself, knowing full well that her white feathers probably stick out like a sore thumb. 

She can’t stay here.

In a sudden burst of movement, she launches herself out of the canopy and takes off before Crystal can get a good look at her. She hasn’t ever flown like this before: so desperately, as though her life depends on it. Tears sting her eyes, but she can’t tell if they’re from the harshness of the wind or her own regret. 

How could she let this happen? It had been going so well with Crystal. They might have only met twice, but Nicky already had her number. They’d texted that night. Nicky had asked her out for coffee and Crystal had returned with a resounding yes.

She supposes she should just be grateful for the fact that their psyches aren’t connected every night. Otherwise, she’d always be surrounded by the faces of people who won’t even look at her anymore, and Crystal would just be one of several others. 

In fact, if she’d met Crystal here any sooner, she’s sure she wouldn’t have her number, and their coffee date would be nothing more than a figment of her imagination. 

She flies past a copse of trees and sees a familiar face amidst the leaves. It’s her childhood friend, and the first person she ever healed. The memory, though more than a decade old, is still crystalline: he’d stumbled, grazing his knee, and when he started crying, Nicky transformed in front of him, sure that she could help. She’d brushed his knee with the tip of a feather, taking his pain as her own, but instead of thanking her, he’d screamed. She never saw him again in the real world after that; all she remembers are the echoes of an angry voice through the phone, and the way her mother winced, her brows pinching in the centre.

But she still sees him here, every so often, less now that they have grown so distant. He has never looked her in the eye; on the nights his mind pulls him back here, he has no choice but to stay, and Nicky has no choice but to be reminded of her own childhood foolishness.

It often feels like there are more haunted faces here than there really are - it didn’t take a young Nicky long to realise that her meaningful efforts were not wanted, and so she made her promise to herself. But, although she can count those ruined relationships on one hand, it’s enough. It’s enough to break off a little more of her soul every time one of those faces appears in her dreamscape, every time they turn away and disappear into the trees to hide. 

And, whatever happens, Nicky will not let Crystal join them. She beats her wings harder, faster, cresting the wind, letting it carry her farther and farther away. 

Crystal may be stuck here now, but Nicky will never let her find out why. 

~

The air is thick and warm, the sun high in a cloudless sky, but Nicky is shivering with nerves. She is sitting alone at a table in a quiet, homely cafe, waiting for Crystal. What if she doesn’t come? What if she did, in fact, catch a glimpse of Nicky’s true form and thus decide never to speak to her again?

The thought alone makes Nicky ache, and so she shoves it away, forcing herself to stay hopeful. 

“Hey! Nicky!”

The voice makes Nicky snap her head up, and she’s delighted when she meets Crystal’s warm brown eyes. Crystal, looking windswept and a little dazed, smiles nervously before taking a seat across the table. 

“Sorry I’m late. I hate to keep you waiting.”

“It’s not a problem,” Nicky assures her, offering her a gentle smile. “I’m glad to see you.”

Crystal grins, and Nicky ignores the way it makes something in her chest flutter, as soft and delicate as a rose petal. 

They lapse into an easy, lively conversation, giggling like schoolchildren over steaming mugs of coffee and soft pastries. Crystal seems oddly shy without the boisterous company of her teammates, but it still feels so _right,_ being here with her. Maybe it’s the cozy, golden atmosphere of the cafe, or maybe it’s Crystal, but Nicky feels at home. She feels comfortable, like this is where she’s meant to be. 

_Wow. You really are just a useless lesbian._ She almost rolls her eyes at herself, but something about all this feels too nice for her to scorn. 

Across the table, Crystal is rambling on - something about baseball, Nicky thinks, but she’s not quite listening anymore. Instead, she’s taken this opportunity to admire Crystal, who seems to glow under the warm lights, her eyes shimmering with an ethereal haze. Nicky has to stop herself from openly staring.

“Have you ever played before?”

Nicky startles, jolted from her reverie. “What?”

“Have you ever played? Baseball, I mean.”

“Oh - no. No, I haven’t. I can’t say I’ve ever been too into sports.” As she speaks, she thinks of nights when she takes to the skies, freedom in the windswept gaps between her feathers, but she knows that’s a sport she can never tell Crystal about. 

“Aw, pity. Something tells me you’d be really good.”

“What, at baseball? No way. I have no hand-eye coordination.” 

“Come on, I’m sure you’re just being modest,” Crystal giggles, coyly tilting her head. “We should practice sometime, just you and me. I’ll show you how it’s done.” 

Almost immediately, Nicky’s mind is flooded with images of Crystal, arms encircling her from behind, teaching her how to hold the bat; Crystal, grinning beneath the brim of her hat, her skin shining like bronze in the summer sunlight; Crystal, planting a kiss on her lips at the end of the day… 

Nicky arches her brows, trying not to seem too excited by the offer. 

“Alright. I look forward to it.”

Crystal smiles again, and Nicky’s heart skips a beat when she notices the gentle flush of her cheeks. The tiny, hopeful part of her whispers that maybe, just maybe, Crystal’s mind is running just as wild, that maybe she wants the same things Nicky does. She pushes the thought away immediately, too careful to allow herself to hope so much.

She’s brought back to the present when Crystal places a soft hand on the back of her own. Nicky blinks, surprised to find Crystal staring right into her eyes.

“It’s a date, then,” she says, a playful, brilliant grin painted across her lips.


	4. Crystal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crystal is an ordinary girl with messy hair and a baseball cap, and she’s not sure how to feel about that. Jan is the ultimate wingwoman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which Aiden and Brita make a very random (but - at least in my mind - a very necessary) cameo.

She’s back in that moonlit field, standing beneath the same tree, its leaves rustling softly in the breeze. Glancing up, she looks for the feathered shape she’d seen last time, but the branches whisper with nothing but emptiness.

Crystal takes the opportunity to gather her surroundings. Nothing has changed since her first visit, several nights ago. There is nothing to see save for an expanse of rolling hills, dotted with huddled thickets of trees. It’s nothing special, and she can’t help but wonder why she’s here again.

She turns, slowly, and that’s when she sees them: the bird person who healed her. They’re sitting on the crest of a nearby hill, feathers twitching in the wind, silently looking out into the distance. 

_So it_ was _them, last time I was here,_ Crystal realises. She can’t help but think that they have something to do with this recurring dream. Ever since the night they healed her, they’ve been an ever-present force in her mind, and now she’s seeing them in her sleep, too?

Almost impulsively, she begins running towards them, desperate for answers. She knows they’ll probably fly away again, but her undying confusion moves her forward.

Crystal slows when she reaches the foot of the hill, taking the trek upwards one silent step at a time. It feels as though she’s closing in on a wild animal; something unpredictable, something delicate and defensive. She can still see the silhouetted shape at the top, the edges of their feathers shining silver in the watery moonlight. They’re ethereally beautiful, yet tragically untouchable. 

When she finally reaches the crest of the hill, she finds herself only a few paces away from them. They haven’t moved - it is as though they are frozen, statuesque beneath the stars. Crystal takes a tentative step closer, but when her shadow falls over them, they stiffen, feathers spiking in alarm. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Crystal tries to assure them, but they have already leaped to their feet, every muscle in their body pulled taut. In the fleeting moment before they spread their wings, Crystal catches a glimpse of their face, their golden eyes ablaze with terror, and it stops her short.

They take off in a blur of feathers, their dark silhouette vanishing into the night, swallowed by the endless expanse of starlight. Crystal stands in their wake, dazed, her throat too tight to even call out for them.

All she can see is the fear in their fiery eyes, their hard stare burrowing deep into her soul. It haunts her; why are they so scared? Why would they heal her, and then run away from her as though she’s some kind of monster? She rubs at a hollow ache in her chest, biting back exasperated tears.

What’s more, they share a striking likeness with Nicky, from the gentle slope of their jaw to the perfect arch of their lips. The downy feathers around their eyes weren’t enough to mask the soft curve of their eyelids, or to hide the shining gold of their pupils, as bright and beautiful as Nicky’s eyes. 

_Nicky._

Crystal slumps to the ground, the grass prickling at her bare knees, but she hardly notices. The thought of Nicky makes her chest tighten, her throat closing with unspoken feelings. 

She’s never met anyone like Nicky before. There’s something about her - something special, something _different,_ and it’s not just the iridescent gold of her eyes. Crystal can’t even bring herself to hate the fluttering flames in her chest whenever Nicky smiles at her. No, what hurts the most is that she’s _Nicky:_ she’s perfect, so put-together, and completely out of Crystal’s league. She doesn’t even know why Nicky gives her the time of day; to her, Crystal must be nothing more than an ordinary girl, with messy hair and a baseball cap. She isn’t like Nicky. She’s not special, or interesting, or funny, or cool, she’s just…

She’s just _Crystal._ And that never feels like enough.

~

_You’ve got it, you’ve got it…_

It’s a high ball, carving an elegant arc through the air, and it’s coming down, down, towards Crystal’s waiting mitt. She hops a few steps backwards, eyes never leaving the incoming missile.

This is it - if she catches this, the game is hers.

_THWACK._

The ball lands heavily in her mitt, and she swings her hand downward, securing it in her grip. 

“OUT!” the referee shouts. The bleachers - and Crystal’s teammates - erupt into cheers. It’s the third out of the last innings, and they’ve just won the game. 

“Crys! That was so good!” Jan shrieks, running up and tackling her in a hug. Jaida follows close behind her, lips quirked in a smile. 

“She must’ve been visited by the magical bird person again,” she jokes good-humouredly. “Hey, Crystal, you should ask them to visit the rest of the team, too.” 

Crystal falters, her mind drifting back to her last dream. 

“I mean, I would,” she finally says, “but I don’t think they want to talk to me right now.”

Jan giggles. “Alright, alright, keep them all to yourself then,” she says, swatting Crystal lightly. 

“You’d better get yourself some extra luck for our next game, though,” Jaida adds, clearly stifling a laugh.

“No, like, I actually think they’re mad at me right now,” Crystal insists, unable to erase their terrified eyes from her mind. “I keep seeing them in my dreams, but they always run away. They seem… they seem really scared of something.” She trails off, biting her lip. 

“I--” Jaida hesitates. “You’re not serious?”

Even Jan has taken a step back and is looking at Crystal quizzically. Crystal tries not to shrink under her gaze - if _Jan_ thinks she’s going insane, then she might just have a problem. She decides not to mention that the bird person wears Nicky’s face beneath her feather-lined eyes.

Forcing a laugh, Crystal waves them off.

“I’m just kidding, you guys! You should see the looks on your faces. I got you good.” She shoots finger-guns at Jaida and Jan, trying not to sigh in relief when they both visibly relax.

“Whew, for a second there, I thought we were going to have to get your head checked,” Jan jokes, elbowing Crystal playfully. 

“Excuse me! I am perfectly sane,” Crystal sniffs, but she isn’t even sure whether she believes that anymore. 

“Yes, and pigs fly,” Jaida comments wryly. Beside her, Jan dissolves into giggles, while Crystal sticks her lower lip out in an exaggerated pout. As they begin walking back to the locker rooms together, Jaida adds, “by the way, I’ll see y’all tonight at the team sleepover, right?”

“Yes ma’am,” Jan says, and Crystal nods in affirmation, hoping that this will give her a much-needed break from her worries. 

~

“Truth or dare.”

“Truth.” 

Crystal watches nervously as Jan’s expression turns sly. 

“Crystal Methyd, have you been… seeing anyone lately?”

“Apart from your mystical bird person,” Jaida adds, lips quirked in a wry smile, and the team giggles.

“I - uh--” Crystal stammers, caught off-guard. Her mind drifts, first, to the bird person of her dreams, but it’s quickly replaced by an image of Nicky’s perfect smile and her iridescent eyes, glowing softly in the cozy cafe. Did that count as a date? She feels her face flush at the thought.

“Someone’s blushing,” Jan teases her gleefully. “Come on, Crys! Tell us who it is!” 

“No-one,” she mumbles. “I’m not seeing anyone.” 

It was probably a one-off thing, anyways. Just something casual. _Nothing worth overthinking._

Besides, if she let slip that she’s falling for one of Jan’s best friends, she’d never hear the end of it - Jan would want to play every role from wingwoman to bridesmaid.

“C’mon, sis, we can all tell you’re lying,” Brita laughs, elbowing her playfully. “You look like a tomato.”

“You’re one to talk,” Jaida cuts in, her dark eyes gleaming with mischief. “You and Aiden ain’t ever set anything straight.” 

“Because they’re not!” Jan adds, shrieking with laughter. Crystal giggles, finally relaxing slightly. Across the circle, Aiden’s pale face turns crimson, and Crystal is hit with an idea. Stifling an impish smile, she turns to Brita.

“Okay, Brita, truth or dare?”

She almost feels bad when she sees the way Brita’s eyes widen with knowing, but the feeling is outweighed by her own relief - at least the attention is off her shoulders, for now.

“Dare,” Brita finally decides, her voice hesitant, careful.

“I dare you to kiss Aiden,” Crystal says, and the entire circle breaks into whoops and cheers. 

“Fuck,” Aiden mutters, covering her scarlet face with both of her hands. “Brita, you could’ve just chosen truth--”

“Oh yeah? And be bombarded with questions neither of us wants to answer?” Brita rolls her eyes exasperatedly. “Come on, you can’t tell me that’s any better. At least we can get this--”

“--Over and done with,” Aiden says at the same time. She sighs, finally relenting. “Fine. Get over here, then.” 

Crystal watches, deeply amused, as Brita stalks across the circle and crouches down in front of Aiden. There’s a strange fire in both of their eyes - Crystal knows as well as anyone that their argumentative nature masks something deeper, but Brita and Aiden themselves are the only ones who refuse to acknowledge it aloud. 

_Oh well._ If anything, it makes them more fun to tease - so much so that it’s almost become a team tradition. Crystal rakes her gaze across the circle, taking in every gleeful grin and sly smirk, as Brita leans in to give Aiden a quick peck. The room erupts in shrieking laughter and cheers, and Crystal can’t help but join in, her own issues momentarily forgotten.

They don’t resurface until after the game, when Jan joins her in the bathroom as she’s brushing her teeth. 

“Hey,” she says, meeting Crystal’s eyes in the mirror. She’s pursing her lips, like there are more words still lingering on her tongue, but she doesn’t quite know how to say them. 

“Hey,” Crystal mumbles back around her toothbrush.

“I know we’re not playing Truth or Dare anymore, but I have a question.”

Though already suspicious, Crystal hums her acknowledgement, nodding for her to continue. Jan drums her fingertips on the countertop, hovering in a brief silence, before she finally speaks. 

“Is it Nicky?”

Crystal almost spits toothpaste into Jan’s face. Reeling, she splutters into the sink instead, hoping Jan can’t see the blush that’s permeated her cheeks. How could Jan possibly know? _Am I really that obvious?_

She straightens again, her mouth still foamy at the edges, every indignant word she wants to say lodged in the back of her throat. The silence weighs heavily on her skin as Jan watches her, her eyes round with curiosity. 

Finally, Jan breaks the silence with a giggle. 

“It doesn’t take a genius to see that you two have something going on, you know,” she comments, arching an amused brow. 

“Really.” Crystal washes the residual toothpaste from her mouth, refusing to meet Jan’s eyes. “I’ve barely known her for three weeks, so I’d love to see where you’re getting your evidence from.” 

“Are you kidding?” Jan gawks at her in disbelief. “She’s been going to every one of our games since she met you. She hated baseball to begin with - you should’ve seen how much convincing it took just to go that first week, and Jackie said she loathed it. Until she saw you, at least.” 

“She could’ve been admiring anyone on our team,” Crystal mutters, refusing to let herself be convinced. “Yeah, yeah, I bet she was looking at Jaida. I mean, who wouldn’t?” Jaida is not only beautiful, but she’s a sensational player. It would make so much more sense for Nicky to be admiring her, Crystal thinks.

“Well, Jaida’s not the one she went on a date with,” Jan counters. 

“It wasn’t a date.” _What if it was?_ “Also, how do you know about that?”

Jan snickers. “In case you forgot, Nicky is, like, one of my best friends,” she explains. “She was fretting to me and Jackie over the phone the entire morning before your date.”

“And she called it a date?”

“Well, yeah. She said it was a coffee date. I think she really likes you, girl.” 

Crystal’s heart skips a beat. 

She’s still just an ordinary girl with messy hair and a baseball cap, but maybe that’s all she needs to be.


	5. Nicky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A confession, a rescue, and a revelation.

Crystal is back.

Nicky can see her silhouette, outlined by the moon. She’s standing at the edge of a forest, looking around.

_Looking for me._

It’s almost physically painful, running away from Crystal when all Nicky wants to do is sweep her up into her wings and embrace her, but she knows it’s for the greater good. She isn’t sure how she’d live with herself if Crystal found out the truth. 

But intrigue and infatuation pull her closer, even if every shred of logic shrieks at her to stop. 

She darts between the trees, a moon-pale shadow, her movements masked by the rustling of the breeze as it caresses the canopy. There’s nothing wrong with admiring Crystal from afar, watching over her like a guardian angel. Crystal doesn’t even need to know she’s there. 

Stopping a few trees away, Nicky settles into the branches, digging her sharp talons into wood. Too late, she realises how flimsy the branch is - the wood is hollow with rot, and before she can comprehend what’s happening, it breaks with a sickening _crack._

Her wings knock the surrounding trees as she tries to catch wind and she tumbles, her feathers scraping against rough bark, the space too cramped for her to fly. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Crystal stiffen, and realises with a sinking stomach that her cover is blown. 

But this means too much to Nicky for her to give up so easily. She scrambles to her feet as soon as she hits the ground and runs, as fast as she can, to the edge of the forest. Her gangly, birdlike legs are awkward, and she constantly finds herself tripping over her own talons.

It doesn’t help that Crystal is a baseball player, with sharp reflexes and hard muscles. Nicky lunges upwards, beating her wings against the cool night air, but it’s already too late. 

She feels warm hands wrap around her ankles, ripping her from the sky. With a hard _thud,_ she and Crystal tumble to the ground, rolling to a stop in the soft grass. It takes Nicky a moment to realise that Crystal is on top of her, her beautiful face mere inches away, effectively pinning her to the ground. 

Her breathless admiration gives way to terror almost immediately. Growling, she tries to push Crystal aside, but Crystal has been hardened by years of athleticism, and she doesn’t budge. 

“Get off of me,” Nicky snarls, thrashing beneath Crystal’s grip.

The edges of Crystal’s eyes are softened with nervousness, but her dark pupils are steely, unwavering. 

“No,” she replies. “Not unless you tell me who you are, and why I’m here, and-- and just answer my questions, okay?”

“What if I say no?”

“Then you’ll be stuck here,” Crystal says resolutely. 

Nicky isn’t sure what’s worse: having to bare her soul to the one girl she wanted to hide it from, or being pinned beneath her for the rest of the night, her heart hammering so hard she’s sure Crystal can feel it through her ribs.

“Fine,” she mutters, finally relenting. “Let me up, and we’ll talk.” 

“Don’t fly away,” Crystal warns, tentatively letting Nicky stand. She grabs her wing immediately, her body tense with nervousness.

Nicky rolls her eyes. “I’m not going anywhere. I don’t think I can, anyway - you’ve probably bruised half of my back.” 

“Sorry,” Crystal murmurs, sounding genuinely apologetic, and Nicky softens. She lets Crystal lead her up the hill to sit beneath the clear night sky, the breeze washing over them in gentle waves.

Up here, her eyes are pools of starlight.

Nicky wants to melt into them like chocolate. Briefly, she lets herself imagine what could happen if she let Crystal see every facet of herself; would Crystal wrap her up in her arms, hold her close and tell her she loved her regardless? Or would she run away like all the others, refusing to ever look back?

As nice as it is to imagine that Crystal could be an exception, Nicky is not going to take that chance. 

“So what did you want to know?” she asks, her voice hard-edged and rough, when the silence between them has stretched on too long.

Crystal frowns. “Why am I here? Did you really heal me that night? Is that - is that why I keep seeing you?”

“Slow down, one question at a time,” Nicky mutters. “We have all night, you know.”

“Sorry.”

Nicky exhales slowly, knowing she shouldn’t be so harsh. But it feels impossible to let her walls down after so many years of reinforcing them.

_Just tell her enough to satisfy her. Nothing more._

“Yeah, that was me,” she finally says. “And yes. That’s why we have a psychic connection now. This place is my dreamscape.” She gestures vaguely at the rolling hills surrounding them.

“So I’m in your mind?”

Nicky nods.

“Wow,” Crystal murmurs, sounding awed. “Wait, but why did you heal me that night? Are you, like, my guardian angel or something?”

“Yeah, pretty much,” Nicky says. It’s easier to simply agree.

Crystal smiles, and it kindles the fire in Nicky’s chest. Her sweet expression vanishes just as quickly, though, replaced by a contemplative frown. 

“So who _are_ you? And why do you look like my friend Nicky?”

“I can take many forms,” Nicky says, lying through her teeth. “This ‘Nicky’ character must be at the forefront of your mind, so your subconscious has created me in her image.” 

“In _your_ dreamscape?”

“Our minds are psychically connected,” Nicky reminds her. “They, uh… they work in tandem.” 

Crystal frowns, her brow creased in thought.

“Alright,” she finally says. “I guess that makes sense.” 

Nicky almost lets out a sigh of relief. She’s safe, for now. 

“So why did you choose me?” Crystal asks. “Aiden didn’t get a guardian angel when she was hurt.” 

“Uh…” Nicky falters. “You’re special.”

“Me?” Crystal scoffs. “Alright, I’ll take it.”

_Yes, you,_ Nicky thinks. _You’re the most special person to me._

_Stars above, when did I become so cheesy?_

They lapse in and out of comfortable silences and taut conversations. Nicky almost feels content, sitting here beside Crystal, even though her veins still thrum with a quiet worry. She spends the night admiring Crystal out of the corner of her eye, watching the way her lips move and how her skin seems to glow in the moonlight.

She hates that she has to lie, hates feeling like she’s on the edge of a thousand-foot drop, but if that’s what it takes to spend more nights like this with Crystal, she would do it time and time again. 

~

Crystal is already out on the field, her back turned, when Nicky arrives. Her fluffy curls bounce beneath her cap as she stumbles, trying - and failing - to juggle three baseballs.

She doesn’t notice as Nicky strides up behind her to rest a casual hand on her shoulder. Crystal yelps, leaping away, and Nicky dissolves into laughter.

“Hi,” Crystal gasps, breaking into a giddy, lopsided grin. “I thought you were, like, some murderer or something.”

“Quite the opposite,” Nicky smirks, aching when she realises that Crystal may never know how true that is. “What are you up to? Training for the circus?”

“Something like that.” Crystal tosses a ball at Nicky, laughing when she drops it. “I see we have quite a bit to work on.”

Nicky rolls her eyes good-humouredly, bending down to pick up the baseball. “Oh, shut up, you.” 

Crystal walks with her to get a bat, laughing and chatting the entire way, and Nicky can’t help but wonder what’s given her this sudden boost of confidence. When they met at the cafe, she was bubbly and talkative, but somehow more reserved, as though she was brushing the water’s surface with her fingertips. Today, it feels like Crystal has dived right in - into whatever they have, into the growing spark that sizzles between their twin smiles.

“Do you know how to hold the bat?” Crystal asks, picking one up and twirling it in her hands.

“No,” Nicky admits. “Like I said, I don’t do much sport.”

“That’s no problem. Here, catch.” Crystal tosses the bat to Nicky, who haphazardly catches it. “I’ll show you how.” 

Her gentle, encouraging smile lights a fire behind Nicky’s ribs. Or maybe it’s the way her freckles seem to glitter in the light, or how her beautiful curls frame her sun-dappled face. Nicky swallows heavily, trying to dispel the flames. 

Of course, it doesn’t work. It never does. 

They return to the field, standing in the open air and golden sunlight. Crystal’s smile seems to shine beneath the shade of her baseball cap. 

“Alright,” she says, “show me how you think it’s done.”

Nicky racks her brain, trying - and failing - to remember how Crystal held the bat during her games. She never did pay attention to the technicalities, she realises. She was too busy admiring Crystal. 

Crystal giggles at her awkward attempt and steps behind her, looping her arms around Nicky’s. 

Nicky’s breath hitches as one of her mind’s wild fantasies suddenly comes true. She knows Crystal is only being helpful, but something about this still feels so intimate. She can feel Crystal’s heartbeat against her back, feel her warmth where their bodies touch. Their arms brush, Crystal’s hands finding Nicky’s, her skin as soft as feathers.

Crystal gently adjusts Nicky’s grip, and the bat is suddenly much more comfortable to hold. Nicky can feel Crystal’s smile against her neck. 

But she doesn’t pull away. Her hands linger, turning Nicky’s skin to fire everywhere they touch. 

When Crystal speaks, her voice is low, quiet, her breath soft against Nicky’s ear.

“You know,” she murmurs, “I met my guardian angel in my dreams.”

Nicky swallows heavily. 

“Did you now?”

“Yeah.” She traces the back of Nicky’s hand with her thumb before she begins to move away, the tips of her fingers trailing along Nicky’s arm. “She looked like you.” 

Her voice is tinged with something that sounds like awe, and it puts Nicky at ease. Even so, she can’t help but be disappointed when Crystal steps back. The air feels far too empty, hollow with the loss of contact. 

“Oh,” is all that Nicky can think to say.

She forgets how to breathe when Crystal moves to face her, her eyes smoldering. Nicky has never seen her look so intense, and yet so nervous; her eyes spark with a thousand flames, but her anxiety is written into every line in her face, in the slight tremble of her lips.

“She said she wore your face because you’re always at the forefront of my mind,” Crystal adds breathily, her eyes never leaving Nicky’s. “And she’s right. I think about you a lot, Nicky. I think you’re--” she falters, clearly losing her nerve. “I think you’re wonderful. And I’d like to keep getting to know you better, if you’ll have me.”

_This isn’t real._

_There is_ no way _this is real._

If her heart weren’t slamming into her ribs at a hundred miles an hour, Nicky would be amused by the fact that Crystal used their dreamscape conversation to ask her out. But instead, it’s all she can do to stand, frozen, gaping wordlessly at Crystal.

Not even in her wildest dreams did Nicky envision their outing today going like this. It’s better than anything she ever imagined. 

Crystal, clearly unnerved by Nicky’s lack of a response, seems to retreat back into her shell. 

“I’m sorry,” she stammers, backing away from Nicky, her eyes seeking out the shivering grass. “I’m sorry, that was too forward, I shouldn’t have--”

Rushing forward, Nicky interrupts her by pressing their lips together, fireworks bursting in her chest the moment she makes contact. Crystal stiffens for the briefest moment before she relaxes into Nicky’s arms, twining her hands in her hair.

“I think about you all the time too,” Nicky gasps as they pull away. “And I think - I think it would be lovely to keep getting to know you.”

Crystal breaks into the most beautiful smile, radiant with their shared happiness. “You mean that?”

“I’ve never meant anything more.” 

Crystal giggles joyously, pulling Nicky in for another kiss. This one is slower, more passionate, easy with the lifted weight of their confessions.

“This is the most exciting game of baseball I’ve ever played,” Crystal laughs against Nicky’s lips.

~

Later, warm with lingering touches and golden sunlight, they retreat to the shade of the dugout. It’s almost as though there’s a magnetic force between them now; it ensures they are always touching, even if it’s something as small as the gentle brush of fingertips or the bumping of shoulders as they walk.

Crystal is still chatting and smiling as she stoops to get their water, but something gives Nicky pause. 

She can sense someone - or some _thing._ She forces herself to tune Crystal out and focus: her powers, suppressed as they are by her human disguise, have picked up on a dwindling life force. The dull ache of suffering thrums in her chest, forcing her to take a deep breath.

“Are you okay?” Crystal asks, sounding concerned. “Do you - do you want some water?” She holds out a bottle and Nicky takes it gratefully. In the brief silence that follows, she hears a small, shaky noise, one withering with the last shreds of hope. 

“Did you hear that?” she tries, hoping Crystal won’t think she’s going insane. 

“Hear what?”

“I think that… I think there’s something here.” She doesn’t elaborate; instead, she drops to her knees and begins looking around. 

It doesn’t take her long to find the source of the noise. Reaching beneath the bench, she carefully picks up a tiny, shivering bird, its downy feathers matted with dust and grime. It smells of sickness, of pain and suffering. As she cups it in her hands, Nicky can feel its life force fading away, disappearing faster with every passing second. 

“Oh no,” Crystal gasps. “Poor baby.”

“It’s dying,” Nicky whispers, half to herself. She strokes its tiny head, her mind whirling. She could save it - isn’t that precisely what she’s good for? - but that would mean exposing herself to Crystal, and Nicky doesn’t think she can bear the pain of losing her. Not so soon.

But is it worth sacrificing this life? The bird has barely seen the world beyond its nest. Its feathers are still soft with chick-fluff, and its wings have hardly tasted freedom. It has its whole life ahead of it, and Nicky would never forgive herself if she let it die. 

Her heart twists, already breaking at the edges, but her mind is made. She knows what she has to do.

“Crystal, I - I can save it.” She hesitates, voice trembling, pretending not to notice how tears are beginning to collect in her eyes. “But if you never want to see me again after this…” _I will miss you forever._ “I understand.” 

“What?” Crystal blinks at her, confused. “Nicky, why - why would I--”

As Crystal trails off into confusion, Nicky lets her disguise melt away. She feels silvery feathers poke through her skin as her arms shift into brilliant wings, her veins thrumming with an ancient power.

“Holy shit,” Crystal gasps, but Nicky pretends not to hear. She isn’t ready to face her yet. 

Instead, she focuses on the little bird. _You poor thing,_ she thinks, cradling it in her feathers. _You don’t deserve to suffer like this._

Inhaling deeply, she draws the bird’s sickness into her body, taking its pain as her own and relieving it of its suffering. Her feathers, normally so sleek and shiny, turn limp, and a wave of fevered fatigue washes over her. She exhales once the deed is done, placing the bird back on the bench, where it chirps happily at her. 

“You’re welcome, buddy,” she mumbles, smiling softly at it. “Glad to see you’re feeling better.”

“Holy _shit,”_ Crystal says again. Nicky, bracing herself for the heartbreak, forces herself to finally face her.

But when she finally meets Crystal’s eyes, she doesn’t see fear or revulsion. Instead, her bright eyes shimmer with… _awe?_

Nicky can’t be seeing this right. 

She blinks, but Crystal’s expression doesn’t change. Her face shines with a shocked delight, with disbelief, with a childlike wonder. 

“Oh my god, oh my god,” she squeals. “That was you the _entire time?”_

“You mean in your dreams?”

“Yes! And in my room - _you_ healed me?”

Nicky nods slowly. 

“Okay, that’s slightly creepy, but also, like, the coolest thing _ever,”_ Crystal says, squealing again, before she seems to hesitate. 

_This is it,_ Nicky thinks despondently. _Time to say good-bye._

“Wait,” Crystal murmurs, “what about everything you said the other night? About being my guardian angel? Are you actually an _angel?”_

“No, no, I was - that was a lie,” Nicky mumbles. “I’m a caladrius.”

“A what now?”

There’s no point in hiding anymore. Nicky bares her soul to Crystal, sharing every detail from her ancestral magic to the friends she’d lost when she’d showed them her true form. Crystal listens, rapt, her eyes bright with an unwavering interest. 

“And that’s why I always ran away from you,” Nicky concludes. “So if you want to leave too, I… I understand.”

“Why in the world would I want to do that?” Crystal asks, sounding appalled. “All your old friends are idiots. This is literally the coolest thing that has ever happened to me, you know.” 

“Really?”

“I mean, it’s not every day you realise your girlfriend is a cal-- a cala--”

“Caladrius,” Nicky supplies, amused. The word _girlfriend_ rings in her ears, still too good to be true. And yet, here she is, sitting in her true form across from the girl she loves, and Crystal is _staying._

“Yeah, that.” Crystal giggles. “I mean, only a fool wouldn’t see how epic you are. If anything, I like you even more now that I know you’re, like, magical.”

Nicky feels herself flush at that statement. 

“Well,” she says, trying to play it cool, “I’m even more epic when I’m not carrying bird sickness. Wanna help me get rid of it?”

“How do you do that?”

“I just have to fly around for a bit and dispel it. A couple laps of the field should do… just make sure there’s no one out there, would you?”

“Aye aye!” Crystal says, grinning impishly as she mock-salutes. She darts out of the dugout, leaving Nicky alone with the freshly-healed little bird. 

“I guess I ought to thank you, eh?” she chuckles, gently stroking its head. It chirps cheerfully at her in response, leaning into her touch. It’s still covered in grime - that’s something Nicky’s powers can’t take away - but its eyes are gleaming with new life and vigour.

Nicky can’t help but wonder where it will go from here. It’s not even fully grown, and she worries that it will only meet a worse fate if she leaves it alone. 

“Coast is clear!” Crystal’s voice chimes in. 

“Crystal, do you think we should keep the bird?”

Crystal shrugs. “I mean - if you want to, I guess?”

“I do,” Nicky decides. “Here, hold it.” She passes Crystal the tiny bird, which tumbles and rolls about in her hands.

Crystal giggles, and Nicky can see her own adoration for the tiny creature reflected in Crystal’s eyes. 

“Let’s name it Jan,” she pipes up.

Nicky snorts incredulously. _“Jan?_ As in our friend Jan?”

“Yeah! Don’t you think it fits? Look at its funky little face.” Crystal pats the top of its head. “Also, isn’t Jan, like, the whole reason we know each other?”

“I mean… yeah, actually, I guess she is,” Nicky muses, thinking back to that first game. She’d only gone to watch Jan, and now here she is, discussing the name of their new baby bird with Crystal.

“And, uh, she kinda convinced me to, you know, confess to you today,” Crystal adds. “So I feel like we should name this bird Jan, in her honour.”

“Alright,” Nicky agrees, smiling bemusedly. “I think she’d find that pretty cute.”

“Jan will think it’s the cutest thing in the world,” Crystal promises. “Now go and get rid of your bird sickness before someone barges in on us.”

Nicky laughs, swatting her lightly. “Alright, alright, I’m going.” 

She takes off, wind whistling through her feathers. Slowly, she feels the sickness shed itself from her body, dissipating into the warm summer air. With every beat of her wings, she feels revitalised, the fever and fatigue slipping into nothingness until all that’s left is a beautiful, brilliant joy. 

Feeling herself again, Nicky does a series of loops in the air, her heart soaring higher than her wings can take her. She can’t remember the last time she felt so carefree, so happy. After all, here she is, revelling in a taste of freedom whilst Crystal - her _girlfriend_ \- and tiny Jan watch her. 

When she lands, she disguises herself once again before leaning in to give Crystal a kiss, delighting in the knowledge that she will be able to do this again, and again, and again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy holidays, and thank you so much for reading! I'm also on tumblr @opalescent-cheetah if you'd like to chat!


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